I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
