Where did you get a picture of my penis
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize