And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
