dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
