no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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