halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He better not be in your backpack
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
