Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
