did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
