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i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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