There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Randomize
