Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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