PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
