Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
