I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize
