You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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