we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
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