You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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