I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
