Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
