i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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