Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
