so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
