loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
