On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
