what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
