i was born a porn star she said
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
