you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
Randomize
