I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
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