Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
