She said her name was "party"
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Randomize
