Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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