Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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