Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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