I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
