so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
