now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
