could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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