WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
