Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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