You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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