Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
