You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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