We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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