Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
