peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
