For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
