bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
