then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
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