Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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