I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
