Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
