We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Randomize