11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
