If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize