Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
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