There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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