Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
sex in a hospital.. check
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
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